Ghost of You and Me
by Magelet1
Summary: Jon after Alanna rejects him in the Great Southern Desert. Songfic.


Ghost of You and Me  
By Magelet  
  
  
What am I supposed to do with all these blues  
Haunting me everywhere  
  
Jon knew his mistake. He couldn't take it back. He should have never said that 'maidenly shyness' bit. Now he'd regret   
it for the rest of his life. He knew that. Alanna would never change her mind. They were separated forever and there was   
nothing anyone could do. Alanna would come back, but they would never be together again; never have any kind of relationship   
like this again. He rode out as planned.  
  
No matter what I do  
Watching the candle flicker out  
  
When he arrived home he was almost immediately introduced to a new lady at court. She was pretty, he'd give her that,   
but Copper Islanders were known to be crazy. He'd have to be careful. She was the perfect tool to get back at Alanna with. He   
knew she wouldn't come back, but there was a tiny flame of hope burning inside him. She was forever surprising people; maybe   
she would come back if she heard about Josianne. Maybe. He prayed to Mythros. Maybe.  
  
In the evening glow  
I can't let go, when will that night be over   
  
He was dancing with Josianne. Keeping her as far away as the dance permitted, but all he could think of was Alanna.   
His love. His friend. His squire. He thought of her first day, getting into it with Ralon before an hour had passed. He, Gary,   
Raoul, and Alex had befriended her almost right away of course then she was only page Alan. Back then she was the small, odd   
new squire.   
  
I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me   
  
Then there was the Black City. That had been an... interesting experience, and he had found out who she really was-   
and that George already knew, which irked him to no end for some reason that she would tell a thief before him, if she was   
even planning to tell him. Them fighting and defeating the Ysandir together, combining their strengths to live.  
  
Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by  
Phantom ships, lost at sea  
  
The two dances that he was required by his parents for the time being were over. He walked outside. All these memories   
came flooding back, swamping him so that he could hardly breathe. His jealousy at her attention to his friends, him telling   
her not to flirt with them. He remembered that. She hated that he had kept telling her that, but he really didn't want her to   
even think of flirting with someone... unless it was him.  
  
Well one of them is mine  
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky  
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me  
  
He remembered the first time that he kissed her. She was surprised. To tell the truth, so was he. She had just awoken   
from three days of sleep. It was a short kiss, with Faithful berating them the whole time before warning them of Sir Miles's   
approach. He had found them- Jon blushing and Alanna turned away, drinking some water. He had been scared to death that she   
would never wake up or that someone might find out the truth about his friend and squire.  
  
I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
It isn't love it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me   
  
Seeing her at Mistress Cooper's. That was a pleasant surprise. It was the first time that he had seen her in a dress.   
He didn't even care that George was there to share the experience. Even in a bit of disarray, she was lovely, perfect, and   
terrifying at the same time, reminding him of the Mother Goddess. The dress had a nice low neckline and was lovely with her   
eyes, shining violet with shock and a hint of fear on her paled face.  
  
The ghost of you and me  
When will it set me free  
  
Her seventeenth birthday. One of the most memorable nights of his life. Seeing her in the gardens. Gods above she was   
beautiful. She was perfect in every way. She left her cloak on a bench as she strolled. He met her back there, and the evening   
went on from there. He expressed how he felt in more ways than one that night. One almost hadn't happened.   
  
I hear the voices call  
Following footsteps down the hall  
  
Her Ordeal had been torture. She was the best of her year, but could she make it. She was strong, brave, and smart,   
but also quick-tempered. Who knew what terrors the Chamber might come up with that could set off the temper, resulting in an   
outburst that would cost her her shield? She came out fine. Tired and with tattered hands, but fine.  
  
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul   
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow  
  
Her dual with Roger. He wasn't sure if that had been worse than her Ordeal or a little bit better.  
  
I can't let go  
When will this night be over  
  
But had she felt the same way whenever he was in trouble? Of course it was- she said it was.  
  
I didn't mean to fall in love with you  
And baby there's a name for what you put me through  
  
Yes, he loved her. With all his heart and more, but she'd be sorry for not coming home with him. They belonged together.   
They were soul-mates. She'd be sorry. Ever so sorry that she had rejected Jonathan Conte.  
  
It isn't love it's robbery  
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me  
  
Even at that thought, his heart wrenched. He went to bed early that night, dreaming of Alanna.  



End file.
